there is a change coming. transitions and new routines loom. for weeks before my mind starts to pull like a loose thread until i am a bundle. it is something i can’t stop but also something i have a very hard time recognizing in the moment. it’s frustrating.
i needed too much time to think. and now i have to spend a week or two playing catch-up, tidying up after my many distracted moments and too much stillness. but the looping joy at the end of this mess is that the change will come and i will be completely too prepared for it just in time.
(i wish i could more easily recall the type of clarity that comes to me after weeks of struggle instead of it getting lost in the human drive to avoid. i wonder why our brains work like that? perhaps our survival is too comfortable compared to the other creatures. at times i get stuck in how to figure my way out of my mind’s trap while appearing calm and mature so my kids have a perfect female role model. they need to see at all times the ideal mother in order to have a perfect childhood my doubt tells me. eventually, i always return to my senses and remember leveling with them brings about the greatest harmony and sense of freedom in our interaction. when i am myself, they are more like themselves and we get to have more laughing and peace in our home. there is far less acting out from all of the ladies around here for attention and sympathy when i accept that perfection is not the goal. we learn so much more from mistakes and learning to navigate through the muck that follows. i guess i should make a banner to hang in my kitchen: “OUT WITH THE PRETENSE, IN WITH THE AUTHENTIC, SWEETIES!” that would be quite funny.)
this phase of keeping my little assistants busy making awesome summer memories is almost done. they have all nearly reached half-year birthday points and i am hanging on as they all make that transition emotionally. it’s almost time to have more structured learning. i get too excited about it and have to remember to keep cool and be a tad aloof so they can have their own experiences. i have to remember to try and recall what i learned from this most recent loose thread moment in my mind.
Mathematics – Teaching Textbooks Grade 3 program
Science — brainpop jr. membership, Adventures with Atoms and Molecules Vol. 1 experiments, Handbook of Nature Study by Anna Comstock, nature journal activities via http://handbookofnaturestudy.blogspot.com
Music and Arts Appreciation – Harmony Fine Arts grade 3 program
History/Geography – bi-weekly homeschool co-op Geography class, Heritage History curriculum: Introduction to Western Civilization
lovely L will read with us each day, play a lot and attend a bi-weekly preschool class through our homeschool co-op.
sweet S will
climb/cuddle/crawl/run/grab/laugh/play/listen to stories/scream/cry/wiggle everywhere be an 18-month-old.